Article for The Compassionate Friends magazine

Yesterday I re-wrote an article that I started back in November that I plan to send to The Compassionate Friends magazine here in the UK.  Reading the original version, I’m so glad I didn’t submit it before Christmas. I was in the middle of a very bleak few weeks and sound wretched, bitter and hopeless.  Actually I’m amazed looking at the words that I was in any state to sit at my keyboard, let alone try and compose anything!  I meant to talk about just how miserable it’s possible to be at times, years after losing a child – (I certainly did that, with bells on) but it’s not all I feel, all the time.

The awful thing about depression I’ve found is that it causes a lack of perspective.  Thinking about it, this is probably the seat of its power over the mind.  There are moments in my private pit when I’m tortured by the sense that it will never get better.  But it does, doesn’t it?  Our situation however throws up its own special problems.  People we know who experience a “normal” bereavement (i.e. a parent, grandparent or other person older than ourselves) I think find it difficult to fathom the depth and breadth of our grief as parents.   That’s made me, at least, feel guilty and apologetic when I have a bad day/week, eight years on.  In the article I try and show through my own experience that actually, having a child die is pretty crap, and that if we’re still sad thinking about our children years on we should really not feel guilty for being that way.

Any old how, I’m happy with the article as it is and hope that others reading it will read something positive (rather than hideous, self-indulgent despair) in my words. Deadline is the end of January for the Spring edition – I hope they decide to print it!

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4 thoughts on “Article for The Compassionate Friends magazine

  1. Well done for submitting it! It's always really hard to get the perspective right. I hate writing non-fiction for that very reason. When someone points out to me that a character is really insular or depressing or neurotic, I can pretend that is how I planned it. Often, it comes as a surprise though, as the characters are often me!Glad to have found your blog!! (Or rather Glad you found me!)Petra.

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  2. Hi Petra! It's odd that, with fiction isn't it? You create a character from elements which have nothing to do with you, you think, and then as you write they turn out to have the same moods and preoccupations that you have..Thanks for the encouragement on submitting the article.Geves.

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  3. God bless Juliette's beautiful soul! and yours.Love LOVE the title of your book and this blog. Blessings!I am the mother of Tyler Hill, resplendent soul and my son, and author of Walking on Sunshine, NRG A Divine Transformation. Ty did not whisper to me from the next life, he zapped me into reality. My author site has miraculous photos of how he did this. My dream is to help parents make a similar connection. When the petals fall, so do the seeds. They create a 'next life'. Many licensed psychologists are now instigating after death communications (Google IADC) to soothe grief.You, like so many, have taken all that negative energy and embraced it into a greater good. Feel the love.www.walkingonsunshine.org

    Reply

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