The shape we’re in now

Sometimes I start wondering what we’d be like as a family if Juliette hadn’t died.

Elodie is sixteen now, and just seven when Juliette left us.  Celeste is that age now, and the baby of the family.  We all treat her like the baby, but when Elodie was seven she came to the room where the sister she adored had died so she could kiss her goodbye.  My heart shrinks at the thought of Celeste having to do the same, but Elodie seemed so grown up – the mature, oldest of four.  Poor little girl. 

That random thought made me cry during supper tonight and I told her I was sorry.  She snorted, as teenagers do and asked me why.  “For not protecting you from Juliette dying,” I said.  “But what could you have done?” she asked me.  “That’s what life’s like.  I’m the person I am because Juliette died.”  I’m so proud of her wisdom, her depth of compassion and empathy, but why did she have to lose her siser to gain this?  What would she be like if Juliette was nearly fourteen, and still here?

4 thoughts on “The shape we’re in now

  1. Having her sister die when she was so young will always be with her and be one of those things she has to carry. But I also reckon she will always know what is important, and the value of things. She won't be the kind of woman to cry over a dirty mark on a sofa, but will know to hold her children tight. Whatever she does, you can always be proud of her dignity and courage. She doesn't feel let down by you, because she knows the truth. She was there too. You can be sure though, that you telling her how sorry you are will help her, even though you both know its irrational for you to blame yourself. Sending my love, Pxx

  2. I agree with storyteller. Your daughter will have learnt that family is the most precious possession in our lives and that she has your blessing and support. xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s