Feeling sick

I’m taking Raphi to Addenbrookes hospital today.  It’s where Juliette was rushed by ambulance an hour after we were told she’d tested positive for leukaemia.  She was just three, perfect, and full of life.  Propped up on pillows in the back of the ambulance she eyed the saline drip in her hand with curiosity, but not fear.  The nurse told Juliette she looked like a queen on her throne, which made her giggle.  I sat next to my little girl, a screaming headache from the effort to keep smiling, longing for her to sleep so I could cry.

Then, Raphi was a 12 week-old foetus.  Now he’s a nine year old with allergies, and Addenbrookes in Cambridge is one of the best places to deal with these.  But this will be the first time I’ve been back.  I thought I’d be OK, but I’m not.

7 thoughts on “Feeling sick

  1. …but it was fine. I was there with a different child in very different circumstances. And for all his asthma and eczema, Raphi turns out not to be allergic to a single darn thing. Not even house dust mite – imagine! I'm going to hang up my duster…

  2. Well done for braving it. I am terrified of the Sick Kids where Catherine died. Not sure how I would cope with having to go back. Glad it was easier than your envisaged.Love the image of Juliette on her throne – how terribly sad it happened. Big hug for you xx

  3. I struggled going back to the hospital where my brother had spent a lot of his childhood in Intensive Care. It was horrible but I hardly recognised it. How much harder for you though. Well done for getting there, for being brave and for sending such a chirpy post afterwards,Px

  4. I had to take Kieron's big sister to A&E recently. We went to a different hospital 20 miles away as the last time I went to my local hospital, I walked out alone. I'm so glad all went ok for you.

  5. Good news re Raphi. Calum had those tests done and was allergic to horses and dust mites and cats. I managed to keep the horses out of the house(!), but couldn't bear to lose the cat, and the dust mites wanted to stay too. He was fine, in the end. Glad you were OK. xxx

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